Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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