Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
