Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
