There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
