Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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