Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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