to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
