Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
