quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
