My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
