i permit you to call me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
