if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
