I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
