Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
