i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
