So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
