You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
