her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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