We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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