I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
