i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
