help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
