I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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