You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Text me some of your sweat
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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