i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
