Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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