I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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