I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
