? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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