Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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