Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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