i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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