Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
