Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
