I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
