whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh god it's open bar.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
