i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
