its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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