Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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