So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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