I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
