is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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