And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
