We're facebook friends in real life
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
