i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
