feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
