No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
