sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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