so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
