OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
