no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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