first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My feet surprised me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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