Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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