If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
