gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
