Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
