Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
