I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
